Friday, December 21, 2012

We Feel Nothing, We Feel Everything

The kiss of a harmonious melody sends my body into a trance as the flute touches your lips. Her song fills my mind long before we meet. then i walk down the street while conducting a yo-yo to sway in a back & forth motion, adding a spontaneous leap that induces a flow of endorphins to strike..  the song plays again as she brushes by,  this time its louder, clearer, somewhat soothing actually...... the space connecting that moment to the rest of this story is yet to be told because i don't know it all.............  her eyes are an entrance to a world far beyond anything you can possibly imagine.  I'm lead to a destination nobody has ever explored regardless of others who claim they've been there.  Yes, in the physical sense, but not in this way, maybe with someone else someday. Our words form sentences that add to laughs, laughs of joy, laughs of ecstasy, laughs that make us light headed, unable to move, but eager to jump in at anytime.  these feelings drift through the air. we're so close, closer than anyone has ever been before yet our bodies feel numb,  so distant and close at the same time. A break in the moment is what it may appear to be but the moment is still alive; the moment never faded, instead it has escalated; ready to ignite at anytime, easily triggered by the slightest spark that follows. She rolls over playfully and as our eyes connect; i enter her. I feel as if i am but im really not, but i am. All of a sudden the events leading up to this moment collide, consume us, and the moment takes over, playing its own song.  The melody is unfamiliar to us but its presence is overwhelmingly irresistable.  My mind replays every touch, every movement, every moment we shared up until this point as if i were viewing a slideshow.  the images displayed in my head flow along with the movement of our bodies building up to a point where i can't quite remember what happens next.  The position of our bodies is unimportant because we are everywhere, the room is filled by the shadows we paint on the walls. there is no empty space for anything else to exist in this room.  we feel nothing, we feel everything.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

You Design My Mind

Designer clothes, string bikinis, tight pants, some think sex appeal. high heels, fake attitude, looks that kill.. yeah thats okay, but i'd rather go home and watch a movie... see, i prefer your natural flow because  thats what  moves me. yes its true i like a gal that sasses..... but i think it's hot when you wear overalls, ponytails & glasses. what's her name on Garden State, do you remember the movie?! thats not just a woman, thats a goddess, something revolutionary...  that's what makes me grip the handle bars tight, butterflies in my stomach all damn night... .. , my heart pumps, skin sweats, i no longer can resist..... Once we both feel the flow its  on from Halloween to Christmas.  once the new year hits passion escalates & never dies down..... mental > physical, that's where the ecstasy is found...  etch your fantasies into my mind, make love to it slowly, boldly, as you orchestrate my body... our statues move in synchronization. A trip that started with a simple kiss led to this unforgettable destination

Monday, October 22, 2012

I was looking for my puppy

Imagine a movie where a boy named Jack loses his puppy & sets off on an adventure to find it. Once upon a time a boy named Jack made it his mission to find his lost puppy. The dog was abused by the single parent Jack lived with and one morning the dog decided to run away from home. Jack gets into a fight with his parent & decides to leave as well so he can find his best friend, the puppy. He goes from town to town, city to city & after awhile his friends report him missing... So of course everyone from his town begins looking for him.  He avoids the police at all costs once he learns that they are looking for him  because he's dedicated to continuing his mission... He ends up going quite far & ends up sleeping at random peoples homes.. Jack's visit to each one of these homes is very short because once he  realizes  they're about to call the authorities, he heads out the window in the middle of the night. As time passes the plot of the movie changes from "the puppy search" to a wild and exciting adventure for Jack... He ends up in the ghetto where he finds shelter at a families home who understands his situation & takes him in. He learns how to fight & fend for himself but when the police catch on he leaves... The movie begins to shift gears and the audience slowly begins to forget about "the puppy" As his journey progresses he begins to meet so many new people.  Jack discovers his musical abilities at church where he finds a group of people that take him in, similar to the movie August Rush.  He is adopted & goes back to school. (details are still being worked out here folks, bear with me) the authorities catch up to him but his mentor finds a friend in another location who takes him in & home schools him.. His journey continues with a trip that extends all across the country as he grows up on the road..  Jack's adventure begins to seem like the movie  "Into the Wild" where he gets acquainted with nature & lives in the mountains but unlike the main character in the movie "into the Wild" he survives & makes it out. He finds his way into the city life where the movie changes into a plot similar to the movie "Limitless" but a little bit more realistic. Once he starts to become successful He ends up meeting a girl that was part of the church group he was involved with earlier in this movie...  She  sang in the same choir  but they never really had a chance to get acquainted until now. They never spoke because his first day at the church coincidentally was her last, but it was still love at first sight for Jack.... Anyway, He ends up successful and making a name for himself in the city just like in the movie Limitless, except in this movie there is slightly more of a romantic connection between Jack and his girlfriend. Another similarity between this movie and Limitless is the final scene.  they are sitting down for dinner at a Japanese restaurant except in this movie the scene ends with her asking him a question. Jill says, "I meant to ask what brought you this far, why did you even begin this adventure"  So.......  Jack replies, " Oh yeah, I was looking for my puppy"

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Ghost Alive

My fuel is the exploration and discovery of unchartered territory within myself, others, and the world that surrounds me.
That's my High.
it's like a drug that lasts forever & i have a limitless supply.
I'm fascinated like curious George by how it all works and why
the deeper i connect with the world around me, the clearer i will see
who you are and what you dream to be
until then, let's walk and continue our journey
whether by each others side or on opposite coasts of the country


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

What's the deal, Mitt?

Gov. Romney’s position is clear: he opposes abortion except for cases of rape, incest and where the life of the mother is threatened.

So Mr Romney, are you saying that you’re in support of the federal funding of an abortion for any woman who states she was raped? Well, if that’s what you’re saying then I’m a little bit more relieved. However, you’re still leaving the door wide open for politics to interfere with a woman making her own decisions on what she does with her body. So what I’ll do is shift gears for a moment while I write this by putting my opinions aside (We’ll see how long that lasts) and pretend that I agree with your stance on this issue. Lets focus specifically on the matter concerning a woman being raped and federally funded abortions. The statements you made on this matter fail to address all of the variables that exist in today’s society and here’s how. Your position on this matter may sound simple however we do not live in a simple world and your stance leaves a substantial amount of leverage for those who oppose abortion. Here’s what may happen if abortion laws coincided with your stance, Mitt. First off, there are those who will begin to question the validity of a victims rape claim. The investigation process would then become more involved in order to prove the specifics of what occurred in the bedroom that night. The questioning process would become heavily daunting for everyone involved. When I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE, including the victim. She already has to deal with the horrifying experience of being raped but now you’re throwing another obstacle on her plate here. She’d have to answer detailed questions about what happened while her body was being violated. Do you realize that this will only lead to the rape being replayed over and over again in her head. Don’t forget about the illegal abortions that take place by those willing to perform them at an extremely cheap cost. These abortions are dangerous and so are the locations in which they take place. However, some may seek out these options as alternative measures to being treated like a criminal. Treated like a criminal for not allowing another man to interrogate her mind the same way that rapist invaded her body. I sure hope you or anyone else who brings up this issue in the future realizes that being treated in the way I described above is unacceptable to say the least. So Mitt, how would you go about proving a woman was raped or would you just take her word for it. Either way, it is necessary for you to elaborate a bit more on how your stance affects the life of all women since you, your partner, and several of your supporters are the ones making this an issue. Jot down all of the what if’s that may arise if your beliefs became law. Then, create a solution to all those what if’s and share them with us. If you’re able to do that effectively then you’re a freaking genius. You can attempt that if you’d like or you can go the humane route and realize that women are the sole deciders of what happens to their own bodies. The amount of attention you or anyone else gives to this issue determines how important this issue if for you. Hence, the vague answer you gave in response to your stance on abortion just doesn’t cut it.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Hollywood, I'm A F'inG prodigy. (thats what she said)

August Rush, Finding Forrester, Good Will Hunting, Fresh, Bobby Fischer, Little Man Tate. All great movies but where are the movies with female prodigies? Films of this type seem to be nonexistent in the mainstream movie scene. So, Will the real directors please stand up, please stand up, please stand up & create a new flick... Think about it. There are so many movies that feature a young male outcast. Now this particular individual im referring to may be a bit different than all the other kids, a little weird, not interested in mainstream social activities.. buuuuuut... at the same time that kid seems to be a prodigy of some sort. A boy genius. However, when a movie features a young female who is also a so called OUTCAST, a bit weird in comparison to her peers, etc....... that female isn't portrayed in the same manner. This female character most likely has the same level of potential , if not more, to be a prodigy. However, instead of focusing on a particular skill or talent this character may have, many of these movies are centered around how troubled she is... how she is wicked or how she has an eating disorder, how crazy she may be, or how she's troubled because of her sexual encounters at an early age. How does any of that have anything to do with the skills she possesses. Focusing on the latter would make the movie alot more interesting for the viewer & may even alter peoples perception about similar individuals they've encountered in real life situations.. it seems to me that there are way too many hollywood filmakers emphasizing a "glass is half empty" message on one side while sending a "glass is half full" message on the other side.  There are films like Million Dollar Baby, Freedom Writers, and others where the lead role is a female who possesses unordinary skills. Also, in the movie August Rush which i mentioned above there is a  character named Lena played by Kerri Russell. In part of the film, you're able to get a taste of  Lena's magnificent voice. Yes, its true that there are films like this.  However, there is a distinct difference in the way Hollywood portrays the two genders at the adolescent & high school age level.  The entire cast, off camera and on camera, do a remarkable job  showing the audience that the main character isn't socially inept. Instead,  he's just special because of his genius mind or special gift.... The conclusion of these stories end with the characters respecting and admiring the star when initially they thought there was something wrong with him.  The viewers and characters may have originally seen an unruly outcast but soon realizes that he was just above average & needed to find his niche, thats all.... see, that's the message. However, in certain roles such as Elizabeth Olsen's character in Martha Marcy May Marlene the outcome is quite different.  This particular film demonstrates a very gifted young woman who has the mental capacity to deal with an unsurmountable level of adversity that would be unimaginable to most. However this movie ends with her being driven to a psychotic institution in the backseat of her sisters car.  instead, the movie could have changed direction at some point after she arrived at her sisters house. Once she escaped the place where she had been abused she moved in with her sister. Afterwards, the sister and her husband began contemplating her removal from their home when they witnessed her odd behavior. The perfect time when her unique talent could have emerged was at this very point in the movie. This type of example is somewhat similar to the positive direction the movies above drifted into. Again, there may be thousands of positive examples of female prodigies but when it comes to the younger characters, high school aged and below, there is a vast difference in how the male is portrayed vs the female.  In conclusion, i say this: While Lindsay Lohan is labeled as bi-polar, Charlie Sheen is bi-winning.  Also,  Hollywood:  im not a slut, im not an anorexic bitch, im not a tease, and im not troubled.  Im quite the opposite if you only took the time to get to know me.. Im not any of the names you just called me, instead, I'm a F'inG Prodigy.  

Friday, July 13, 2012

I'll just leave it AS IS....

  I've always been this way to a degree but i recently discovered how much i really FEEL another persons emotions at certain times.  what i mean is, there have been a number of situations where i would witness someone who may be distressed, crying, emotional about a particular issue, etc.. i may not necessarily even know them at all, but i'd really feel that person and sometimes think... damn, i wish there was something i could do. i know this may sound odd but that's how i am. One example of this took place a couple of weeks ago. I'll leave the name of the locations of the establishments i was in out of this blog. Anyway i was at a restaurant ordering some food, drinks, etc,  and i saw this woman who i was very attracted too but a few minutes later this guy she knew, who she obviously liked, had his arms around her.. anyway, i had left to go to another restaurant down the road. When I came back about an hour later to retrieve the cell phone i thought i misplaced, i decided to get one more drink.  thats when i heard someone crying. it was the same woman from before but she was crying in the bar stool right next to me. The guys that were hanging out with her and her friends had left the place.  Seated beside me was her and the 3 female friends she was originally with.  i heard her cry and she kept saying, "why do guys have to be that way, i don't get it, im such a nice person, why do they treat me that way" (while she was crying hysterically) i literally felt like i was going to burst... i can't possibly tell you how much emotion was running through my body at that moment... i myself, wanted to cry out of frustration and the sadness i felt for her was intense.  i was without a voice. i only wish i was a woman at that moment so i could give her advice and then she might listen and walk away feeling better. Not to say that i'd have the answer but at least i could talk to her and maybe she'd feel comfortable and listen.  Maybe if she saw that a complete stranger cared she'd think differently, maybe it would at least put a smile on her face. However, im not a woman, im a man so i was voiceless... i continued to listen to them as they talked and felt every bit of emotion that she felt while she cried...  i walked to the restroom shortly afterwards and passed  by a small group of 3 guys who were laughing. They continued laughing & making jokes to each other about the girl crying. As they laughed one of them looked at his friend and said "i know why that guy didn't tap that ass, that girl has more veins in her legs than a heroin addict has on his arms" and they laughed........ Another mentioned her crooked nose and  i don't want to mention the rest of their conversation.  Anyway,  as i headed back out of the restroom my level of emotion escalated.  What i discovered as i went to sit back down in my seat made me even more inflamed ....Low and behold, tbe 3 guys who were cracking jokes were now sitting with the women, chatting away. The guy who called her an ugly veiny heroin looking freak ended up with her phone number...... An intense mix of emotions filled me but as i walked out of there those intense emotions had turned into something else..  I felt nothing. I was completely shocked, and for that moment. i lost faith in the world.... As crazy as it sounds was one of those moments that made me feel more confused than ever. i should end this on a positive note or with something that will leave the reader feeling inspired, but instead, i'll just leave it as is... 

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Love is the Headline

There are certain things nobody should tolerate in a relationship. There are certain key factors that should exist for the relationship to be a successful and fulfilling one for both individuals. However, is it really necessary to follow a guide or a set of rules per say?  I don't believe so. If you truly find Love then the person you're with will respect you and you will respect them instinctively. True Love is the only rule and will provide both love and respect. You can find someone who fits your definition of the ideal person, has common interests, shares similar beliefs and respects you but that doesn't mean they are your true love. However, if the person you're with is your true love then they will automatically respect you and any disagreements will work themselves out naturally or may even give you a new perspective. You will not attempt to change them and vice versa. You will both grow at your own pace, learn, evolve, and naturally become the people you were meant to become throughout your years together. This may not provide you with the answers you seek. However, in this world, the only answer is YOU. Regardless of what you believe YOU create with every new step you take & every decision you make. if you choose to open any book that provides you with a set of rules, make sure you learn to do something else FIRST. Open your eyes and allow yourself to see a persons soul before anything else. Love is the most important; it's the headline.

Art's Shadow

Art is the Shadow of the Mind's Imagination

displayed for us to appreciate the depths of one's creation.

Art's profound impact connects lives from the past to the present and plants seeds for the future

A Garden of Ideas gradually emerge as the connection of minds & generations fertilize the soil. 

thirst is quenched by the rain and fed by the sun.

Mother Earth, God & science sing together as one.

Art is the Shadow of the Mind's imagination

Next to the tree house a dove and owl sit side by side.

thats what she sees as she writes..

Revealing what truly lives inside. Unleashing our souls to the world, nothing to hide.

as i listen to the music my own words are born and so it is written

It's a day like no other ever experienced before

a calm feeling that lives in your body and yearns to explore

cannot be defined by any symbol or sign

just a feeling so pure that it crawls through your spine.

invigoration that invites many to share the same joy

whether man or woman, girl or boy

just click your fingers like this, easy at the wrist.

and let your mind enjoy this feeling of bliss.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

a piece of my mind, translated into words

i run the streets like Will Ferrell in the movie Old School, but im not frank the tank, so just call me Aldo Q. i didn't know which way to go but kept on jogging anyway. a reporter asked what i was doing, i said what forest gump would say..  never covered myself in clothes while i tried to  figure it out, instead i stripped my attire, transparency was my new route.
My decision to run wild & feel everything around me led to an ingestion of infinite particles to enter my body. i allowed some of it to grow and become a part of me then threw up all the waste that i didn't want to be. see, love conquers all and this statement is profound.... so i belittle hate in creative ways removing any foul sound. shrinking that monster making it 10 times smaller, because once that attitude meets love, its corrosion is devoured...  replaced with a feeling in which the stench cannot exist.... i'll contribute to new ideas while putting hate on my hit list.....

i might create a sequel to the movie "UNINVITED" and become an attorney defending Anna, cause that's how I'd write it...
then tell her dad he did a lousy job, cause he banged their nanny while he was ignoring their mom. these are the thoughts that enter my brain.. expression is the kiss of life, relieves all strain.
See, i am the ghost and yes i mean all of this, don't let anyone drain you of your current bliss. there is nobody that can stop you or bring you down unless you focus on their ignorant and beligerent sound.... NOBODY can tame the lion inside of you, drain you, maintain you, or make you blue...... just look in their eyes, smile and they'll feel shame, because the whole time they were fake and underminded the game
love is a battlefield that involves soldiers of all types, those that take it for granted, those who feel it and those who are full of hype... whether you agree or don't  like what i have to say, my presence will stay. It won't leave....  not now or anyday.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

she looks to her left & says "Hey Girl"

i don't really have a hook but im just gonna flow to this...  a hey girl turns to her friend and would just sing to this...  whispers in her ear and just laughs all day....  girls wanna have fun, thats what cyndi lauper used to say.  all joy, all play, its hey girl all day.  if i met you this way, i'd like you  to stay....  and just roll down the hill like in the story Jack and Jill... but there is no crown, & we laugh at whoever tumbles all the way down...   Then the probability of chemistry would be 99%, nothing is for sure, except for Mimes who don't speak and the 1st of the month rent.  A clown in front of the mirror when youre getting ready for no reason... F the Dating Game, its time for a Hey Girl season.  Her laughs & smiles come first, the body comes later.. that'll always be my preferred flavor.  I'm done for now but this rhyme is far from done....  Hey Girl, just have some fun.  

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Don't Be A Mark

The following is not about anyone in particular.  when i'm out and about I tend to observe others on occasion..  this is based on things i see happen & things that may have happened to some/many individuals.. a scene between a couple at the park is what triggered this piece. 

once upon a time there was a dude who instigated an argument in public which was quite rude. she clearly felt uncomfortable discussing the issue with everyone. he persisted without a care & said he wasn't done. When she brings it up in private he kept saying he was SORRY & wore out that word like 80's kids played out atari. Okay, you apologized bro, now let's get back to the issue. He brought it up, now its her turn to speak, but he's reaching for a tissue. Clueless to whats going on, wondering why she's mad, caught up in his own feelings.. i can't believe this guys a Dad. You just don't get it dude, what the hell is going on. thats what she said as she tries to continue the convo, but instead he sings his sad song. she feels like pulling the hair out of her head & keeps talking but he only replays the words that he said. her words fly around him & disappear into the air. the champion of icebreakers is speechless; nothing but a confused stare... he flees the scene like a get-away driver; paints the town with his boyz thinking that'll take him higher... He brags about all the ladies he tasted; licked up, sticked up, all the nights he was wasted. One day he'll realize that he's actually not a player, simply just a boy toy. only good for one thing & thats physical joy #Mark (Btw, mark is not a particular guys name, it's old school west coast slang for a punk ass, basically. Just threw it in the mix)

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


Transparency is my oxygen, thats how i breathe freely.. won't cover up the skin i live in because that would contain me. i inhale it into my lungs; now the skeletons run & flee... Being transparent is my Oxygen. Finding the words to express how i feel is my Fire. I'm addicted to exposing my soul, Life is my desire. transparency is my oxygen, without it i'd slowly die. A steady dose of this pure drug allows me to fly.... I'm Alive as the Flame smothers me, now im breathing with ease. Ignites the child inside while it disarms any disease. This feeling makes my heart perspire.. Oxygen is necessary for the flame to rise higher.. i will spread the flame so you can feel the same. the beauty of Your transparent soul. so addicting i want to view it in slo mo.. add my favorite song as the audio & name the track.. Its an Oxygen World baby & its about to blow

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Shadows in the Break of Dawn

The Shadows on the Wall surrounding her display a flow of grace.  white walls feel emotion as the world opens its doors. only to disappear without a trace.  a sequel of her dancing soul will be painted when winged creatures sing their wake up song. the concert continues. consistent as the Break of Dawn 

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Who is Silvia?

  Who is this Silvia person this guy keeps mentioning. she must be tres sheik with a dash of freak, in the way she laughs when there is no joke. the Girl is into yoga so she will not toke.. a simple girl who is faithful with a side of danger. She dances as she walks & will even smile at a stranger. Pilates style movements at any given time.. She speaks without saying a word, more effectively than a Mime. The Shadows on the Wall mirror her flow of grace. white walls feel emotion as the world opens its doors. only to disappear without a trace. a sequel of her dancing soul will be painted when winged creatures sing their wake up song. the concert continues. consistent as the Break of Dawn. The kiss of her harmonious melody sends my body into a trance as Her song fills my mind long before we even meet .she's the one that makes my heart sweat. the one that'd make me grip the handle bars tight, butterflies in my stomach all through the night... , my heart pumps, skin sweats, i no longer can resist..... Once we both feel the flow its on like donkey kong, from Halloween to Christmas. She's like a drug that lasts forever & I have a limitless supply. Just think about her for a moment and her presence stops by.... I'm fascinated like curious George by how her mind works and why girls wanna have fun, thats maybe she's like the girl that that cyndi lauper used to play. that type of woman who is, "hey girl all day." so if i met her this way, i'd like to stay.... let's just roll down the hill like in the story Jack and Jill... but there is no crown, & we laugh at whoever tumbles all the way down... Then the probability of chemistry would be 99%, nothing is for sure, except for Mimes who don't speak and the 1st of the month rent. A clown in front of the mirror when youre getting ready for no reason... Fuck the Dating Game, its time for Silvia, this is a Hey Girl season. Her laughs & smiles come first, the body comes later.. that'll always be my preferred flavor. I'm done for now but this rhyme is far from the end.... Silvia is on my hit list, my goddess, my love, and my new best friend....... kick that shit Dre...

Thursday, March 29, 2012

Is that a Heart on your sleeve or is it just a symbol of what you think you believe.

I'm confused so please clarify what you are saying... if free thinking is what you preach then there should be no slaying. when you attack those holding signs that you feel preach hate..... A violent reaction will only cause the madness to elevate. A war may be born from getting in peoples faces which results in destruction & only violence will leave its traces... this is not a request, there will be an absense of physical fighting... if a rock is thrown in anger, prepare for thunder & lightning.... take this as an opportunity to learn about those you don't know... regardless of the signs they hold, only then you will grow. when you arrive with a vengeful heart & shoot vicious bullets in their way, the Love symbol on your neck will bleed, & that heart on your sleeve will slowly decay... Leaving you thinking about what you did... the vulgar swinging in the direction of that little kid.. if you let anger overcome your reason... you'll only defeat the peace sign & be found guilty of treason... a traitor to yourself and the words that you speak... represent the button you wear with action, if peace is what you seek

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Raindrops are Falling on My Head..

i live so i can LIVE,  but initially had no clue what i could give. the day i awoke was the day i was the most confused... didn't cover up while i tried to  figure it out, instead i stripped my clothes, transparency was my new route. I indulge in Life rather than a game of  win or lose so im Naked to the world, which is the dresscode i choose. However, i wear a bathing suit because i have some class & have a tendency to dive in oceans where the sharks might pass..   transparency is my oxygen, thats how i breathe freely.. won't cover up this skin because that would contain me. oxygen is how i live, my words fuel the fire. this expresses what occurs & translates my desires. I'm not a rebel to faith, but a rebel to certain mainstream views... selectively promoted ideas that leave the nieve more confused. .. the box on the wall can train the mind to be scripted, so instead i sharpen my mind to become lyrically gifted. I selectively digest thoughts of genius that may originate from an evil mind, ingest the good, release the waste that may leave the heart blind.. after researching myself, I voluntarily take a tour of someone elses position & may transfer myself into bait for their opposition.. this connection is as genuine as you will ever get.. the heart thumps an unfamiliar rhythm, forehead perspires with sweat.....  As the project steadily unleashes it will all come together, not saying i promised anyone this flow would get better..  As I hear others talk about living the high life,  I dare them to became the father, the mother, the child, the husband, and the wife. I'll become the Outcast just so i can relate;  put myself in the storm without a raincoat so i can taste......  your flavor, your sound, because it involves me too. Since we're both  living in this world im riding with all of you. So for now, i tilt my head back & let the rain kiss my forehead with  passion fueled drops. the soundtrack to LIFE begins. Seeking an Umbrella is where it stops.  I'm a writer! faith infused idea igniter, awake with the birds but also chill with owls when i pull an all nighter. all of the above & yes im also a lover. that night i burnt the only umbrella left so i could feel the world, not run for cover.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Modern Day Sexual Rebel without being a Rebel

 Something i wrote & im not Jerry McGuire. I just threw a match on the ground. Someone else settup the fire... So, here goes:

During my life  I've had conversations with a wide variety of people expressing my choice to wait awhile before having sex with a woman. I've received numerous responses throughout my life some which have included "No, way that's just a line or Cmon,  your lying" or a guy that thinks like that is usually gay, or the kinder but still shocking response of: Wow, thats different, no its not a bad thing, its good, its just different. I say shocking because its pathetic that society reacts this way. Now, im not saying that's the way everyone thinks.. I'm not saying thats the way it is.. Im saying that is what i've personally experienced for the greater portion of my life.. Then, one day, i happened to run across someone (will not mention names) who is hated. A person who is considered a Religious Extremist who preaches hate. . A person who I have almost nothing in common with, through the eyes of those who know me. So, That person responds..... "So, What's the big deal, There are many guys out there who are like that." For the first time, i was overcome with a new feeling that i have never experienced before... Relief... Relief & Confusion.. How can someone who is considered so close minded by many, be so open minded in this particular area... Relief... Normally, when i had a similar discussion with others, i was always looked upon as if my choice was foreign ... This is the first time i received a reaction from someone who Showed me that it wasn't a big deal at all. . I guess sometimes, what you've been waiting for  your whole life, comes from the most unexpected source. It makes me feel reborn in a sense because what i believed was nonexistent, truly does still exist.  It restored faith which lead to a rearrangement of my feelings, leading back to where i started, when it comes to this issue.   

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Jack & Jill (A story about people)

Jill let everyone know that she won't have sex with just anybody, it has to be the right person. She is commended & respected for that. Everyone thinks she is so sweet. Jack lets everyone know that he won't have sex with just anybody, it has to be the right person. People think he's gay & when they find out he isn't they say, "Who the hell does he think he is, that arrogant prick. Oh, he must think he's all that or something. Mr, i think im god's gift to women"

Jill & her friend Amanda meet up with Jack & his friends. Jill realizes that she is interested in Jack right away but Amanda is with her & she's a little bit more assertive than her friend. Jack is also interested in Jill but because she is alot more subtle Jack doesn't recognize that she's into him. So, of course Amanda & Jack end up going out on a date rather quickly. It seems that Jack asked out Amanda because her signals were rather obvious & she seemed cool so why not.

Jill goes home & says to herself, "that is the straw that broke the camels back" She decides that for once in her life she's going to go after what she wants. Jill thinks about Amanda & says, "that backstabbing bitch! im tired of women like her getting all of the nice guys. pisses me off"

Jill goes out with her other female friends that weekend & decides she is tired of waiting for that so called "mr right" she once thought existed.. A couple of hours into the evening her friends saw the change in her. She begins to flirt, drink more than usual, & basically have fun for once in her life without caring what other people think. She just doesn't want to be "miss please the world" any longer. At first she realized she was putting on an act but once she discovered this new side of her things seemed to balance out. Now, before this point she never had a one night stand. After a couple weeks of going to a few new local spots with her friends, she ended up going back to a guys apartment. She actually left his place feeling good. She felt like she had some control over the situation... She realized that she wanted to chill out on looking for a relationship. Jill just wanted to kick back, experience life a little, & although she still wasn't going to sleep with just anybody, she was open to it if the mood was right.

When she returned home some of the folks who once thought she was so sweet & nice, seemed to change their opinion of her all of a sudden. She was happy but they called her a slut behind her back.. Oddly, some of those same individuals continued to treat Amanda no differently than usual.. They still spoke to her, called her, etc... Jill is fed up & is tired of people telling her how to act.

Meanwhile, back at Amanda's place everything seemed to go very well in Jacks opinion. He leaves feeling pretty good about the situation. Now, Jack doesn't sleep with Amanda right away so Amanda thinks she did something wrong.

Jill sleeps with Brad too quickly & he thinks she's just some girl from the bar. Amanda goes after Jack sensing that she should try harder, only if she'd realize that she's awesome , only if she'd back off the sex a bit. 
Jill calls Brad but never really called Jack, so Jack figures that he if he was more like Brad then he could finally get with Jill.

Jack gives up on women like Jill & continues to meet women like Amanda.

Jill gives up on guys like Brad & wishes that Brad was more like Jack.

& the story goes on...

the moral: people are confusing themselves when they expect a woman to be a certain way & a guy to be a certain way. If the characters in this story didn't have these prejudices about "what women are supposed to be like" & "what men are supposed to be like" there would be no confusion.

that's it for now, peace

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Garden

i came to the fork in the road & went straight, ignored the sign, jumped the fence & busted open the gate.. into the garden where i was greeted by stares from strange faces. i'm a criminal for crashing the party but i'll be gone without leaving any traces. i looked right into them, eyes glazed, with a smile so wide ... high from the adrenaline that i was experiencing inside.  A private festival had taken over in this secluded place. Curiosity aroused on each & every face. My name flew through the garden from lips to ears, by a cluster of individuals who knew each other for years. i politely interrupted this man annoying a fine lady, she was upset  because i woke her up, but still pleased to meet me.  small talk occupyied the scene, reminded her of the same story so we took off to explore unchartered territory. The ink we spill along the way will illustrate how we live, transparent, with nothing to hide. We're the authors of our adventure, the New version of Bonnie & Clyde.. wild dreams paint the streets with our own dezign. We burned down the Box, & unlike Cash we will never walk the line. when the sun sets & Dusk enters we never count sheep. Instead we daydream of wolves who run free & don't fall asleep. These are the thoughts that ease our mindz instead. until the sun rises, the spot in the garden is where we'll lay go to bed.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

U Know

People Don't Change, They Just Become More Like Themselves. I've heard this statement before, on more than a few occasions & this is my interpretation of it.

Sometimes others may think you're changing but maybe you're just becoming more in touch with yourself & that's a good thing. Maybe, the person you thought you were wasn't really you. you may have not realized that you were trying to fit in simply to appease others. You may just be realizing that you never knew who you were until a certain point in your life when it all begins to come together. When you come to that realization, thats a good thing. So, before you take too many steps forward in one direction, relax. Don't rush . The direction you walk will obviously lead you to who YOU will be so don't walk too fast, let it mature like wine, slowly, genuinely. Keep learning about yourself until your subconscious mind completely aligns with your conscious mind. Until your conscious state agrees with your natural reactions. When that happens, everything you add along the way will be added to the real you… If the foundation is solid before you decorate the house then living in the house will be alot more pleasurable…if the foundation is unsteady then the house will collapse or continuously experience damage by obstacles that you won’t understand.. It all leads to you. Whether its your fault or not, you’re the one that has to deal with the situations that arise in your life. If you have a thorough understanding of yourself then you will have gained peace of mind. Peace of mind that the decisions you make are the ones that are right for you. Experiences in this world may collide with what you believe from time to time. They test us, they introduce themselves to us, they greet us. How we deal with them, whether we choose to battle, to ignore, to embrace, to laugh, or a combination of those will give us the answers we need.. the answers to questions you may have asked yourself. was that me or was that someone i thought i was supposed to be. Did i react, or did my emotions react.. Reflecting on these moments without analyzing them too deeply supply us with answers. So, the challenge isn't change but instead, learning more about ourselves... Once that happens, Change is Natural!              

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Storms Breathe a Rainbow

I bring my thunder to the table; the storm is passionate with unpredictable drops of rain but remains stable. Our winds clash but sharing the sky is key because we have table manners. The menu we present features delicacies that label us as enchanters.. the future of the storm is the route that we'll fly. dipping through clouds as we let the sun heat our bodies, then we'll kiss the sky. when two storms collide its such a thrilling ride; the thunder that lives inside when two storms collide... This may or may not be what you want to hear, but you'll see the rainbows we paint while we're living up here. Graffiti in the sky that you see once in a blue moon, turned into a daily operation that you can experience very soon... as long as you don't hide from the storm that lives inside. we breathe our thoughts freely until Our Storms Collide. to never erupt all at once or welcome in the acid rain. the mix of weather conditions may seem complex but are really quite plain. the peace that lives inside as we glide.. the power that is felt when our storms collide.. we've inhaled storms throughout the journey now lets let it go.... we've inhaled storms in our life, now We Breathe a Rainbow.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Create Art in a Pit Full of Snakes

  • Two birds of a different feather will eventually come together... slowly, with patience, the process will transform into a collage of colors that have been yearning to be born.. once the painting is finished & all the colors have been bonded nothing can wash it away... please, don't plant poisonous seeds along the way... that will only open a door for snakes to enter & stomp on this dream even more. don't feed the snake inside of you or else it will urge you to fight others. your perception will be controlled by the emotional desires of the snake who only exists to destroy. then, you will not be a contributor but instead you'll be the snakes toy. instead find the seeds that contribute to creation. These you already possess. these are the ones that leave the snake alone. Unfed, that snake will soon be dead. the desires within you will change & once that happens, the process that was once started can continue, it will never be rearranged. it will never be distorted by those who seek to separate. that is weakness, Abandon this destructive human trait. let the garden grow, let the flowers bloom, let nature react. or this will all die if we jump in recklessly with a hate fueled attack. Relax, sit back & observe... You'll notice the holes that need to be filled when witnessing a discussion between two different worlds... you'll know what to contribute then... the process can continue, the painting will eventually be painted. the madness will end. Art will then be the desire & it's art that is endless. when art takes over us creation is an infinite exploration. That's when we will never see a dead end, ever again, my friend.

We've Got 99 Problems but We Can't Feel A 1

Ive got 99 problems & she makes them all disappear as they're importance seems to vanish while they soar through the air... diminish into almost nothing & evaporate across the lake.... Feels like Magic, how that just happened. It feels like we've known each other forever & the sense of freedom we both feel to explore each other without fear, no hesitation. is this real? i ask, as i pinch myself so i can feel... feel the sharpness & maybe i might go back to reality but im already living it. i want to make sure i didn't just doze off so i pull my hair.. but im still here... words are translated into glances that only we share. but where do we go from here... If we ever drift apart, at least we'll always have this... this moment, this kiss, this will wipe all the hell away.... on any given day, just close your eyes & remember this moment... its ours now & forever; we own it, Our Loyalty stronger than bonnie n clyde, the good version that is, tighter than that of the two kids who pinky swore by the tree. Deeper than anything you can imagine, than you'll ever see.... a romance that even the Notebook hasn't fully captured.... nothing like it in the world. So, If you're having minor problems i feel bad for you son. We've got 99 problems but We can't feel a 1!