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Friday, July 13, 2012

I'll just leave it AS IS....




  I've always been this way to a degree but i recently discovered how much i really FEEL another persons emotions at certain times.  what i mean is, there have been a number of situations where i would witness someone who may be distressed, crying, emotional about a particular issue, etc.. i may not necessarily even know them at all, but i'd really feel that person and sometimes think... damn, i wish there was something i could do. i know this may sound odd but that's how i am. One example of this took place a couple of weeks ago. I'll leave the name of the locations of the establishments i was in out of this blog. Anyway i was at a restaurant ordering some food, drinks, etc,  and i saw this woman who i was very attracted too but a few minutes later this guy she knew, who she obviously liked, had his arms around her.. anyway, i had left to go to another restaurant down the road. When I came back about an hour later to retrieve the cell phone i thought i misplaced, i decided to get one more drink.  thats when i heard someone crying. it was the same woman from before but she was crying in the bar stool right next to me. The guys that were hanging out with her and her friends had left the place.  Seated beside me was her and the 3 female friends she was originally with.  i heard her cry and she kept saying, "why do guys have to be that way, i don't get it, im such a nice person, why do they treat me that way" (while she was crying hysterically) i literally felt like i was going to burst... i can't possibly tell you how much emotion was running through my body at that moment... i myself, wanted to cry out of frustration and the sadness i felt for her was intense.  i was without a voice. i only wish i was a woman at that moment so i could give her advice and then she might listen and walk away feeling better. Not to say that i'd have the answer but at least i could talk to her and maybe she'd feel comfortable and listen.  Maybe if she saw that a complete stranger cared she'd think differently, maybe it would at least put a smile on her face. However, im not a woman, im a man so i was voiceless... i continued to listen to them as they talked and felt every bit of emotion that she felt while she cried...  i walked to the restroom shortly afterwards and passed  by a small group of 3 guys who were laughing. They continued laughing & making jokes to each other about the girl crying. As they laughed one of them looked at his friend and said "i know why that guy didn't tap that ass, that girl has more veins in her legs than a heroin addict has on his arms" and they laughed........ Another mentioned her crooked nose and  i don't want to mention the rest of their conversation.  Anyway,  as i headed back out of the restroom my level of emotion escalated.  What i discovered as i went to sit back down in my seat made me even more inflamed ....Low and behold, tbe 3 guys who were cracking jokes were now sitting with the women, chatting away. The guy who called her an ugly veiny heroin looking freak ended up with her phone number...... An intense mix of emotions filled me but as i walked out of there those intense emotions had turned into something else..  I felt nothing. I was completely shocked, and for that moment. i lost faith in the world.... As crazy as it sounds was one of those moments that made me feel more confused than ever. i should end this on a positive note or with something that will leave the reader feeling inspired, but instead, i'll just leave it as is... 

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